A Blog Log about Logging Bloggy Blogs
So I have been reading blogs, and writing on this blog, and thinking about blogs, so I thought I’d blog about blogs. What could be more interesting? So here’s the deal. Blogs are everywhere, it takes nothing but an internet connection and about 10 minutes to start your own blog through wordpress or blogspot, and it’s free! I didn’t go the free route since I already have my own server space and a few other web sites, so I figured I would buy my own domain name and do the dirty work myself. I’m glad I did. Makes me feel more legit for some reason. The crazy thing about these blogs is that some people make serious Benjamins just by blogging! You get a blog going that gets mass attention and then you sell out and get some ads running on your page and BAM! You quit your day job and just shoot the breeze on the internet all day. That sounds awesome. So tell all of your friends to comment on my blog so it looks like I am really popular and businesses will want to advertise on dylanallen.net… not really. I don’t think I quite have enough charisma to pull off a stunt like that, and the fact that I am talking about it right now probably also hurts my chances.
So lets talk about my chances of writing something that people will actually be interested in. Of my previous posts, the most comments have been about Spirituality, Coffee Shops, and Wine. However, the blog about Masculinity has actually had more hits. For some reason my blog is found by people searching for the word masculinity more than anything else. I think that is a fluke, and not really related to my amazing insight concerning masculinity. So in observing these things I wonder what it is that I am most capable of writing about that will provoke interest. In other words, what do I have to share that other people want to hear or talk about? I am seriously curious so if you have any suggestions please share them.
The bigger question is how do people make blogs that gather such a huge following? Do they advertise? Are they experts on a subject, or are they just good writer? I still don’t get why so many people worship Oprah. She doesn’t seem to be incredibly smart, yet people look to her for advice on… everything. It just happened. I don’t want to be Oprah or anything, I am just amazed by the whole deal. I get the Dr. Phil thing, he is actually doing something he is qualified to do, and he has charisma and he’s tall and people like that. He’s like Judge Judy but more popular.
So back to my Conversations. My idea starting this up was that I didn’t want to limit my scope. I want to be able to talk about anything I feel like without seeming to stray from the general idea and purpose of the blog, so the idea and purpose of the blog is summed up as creativity, culture, and spirituality. The great thing about that is that so much fits into the category of culture. Blogs are a significant part of our culture, so I have no problem saying that this fits in the culture category. So now for my next question: Do I need to go after a niche in order to attract a following? I think this is what most successful blogs do. I could have a coffee blog and get some frequent coffee fanatics, or a religion blog and get lots of wackos to talk angry at me and each other, or I could just keep it going the way it is and enjoy my mediocre blog.
Here is your chance to not only critique this post, but to critique my whole blog. So lets hear it!
Here’s to Your Health
I recently went on a health kick. My wife went out of town for two weeks and I decided that I was going to accomplish two things: finish the kitchen remodel, and get in better shape. I am pleased with the results of both and I felt like spilling my thoughts on the being healthy subject, as the kitchen remodel isn’t quite as interesting to me. Although I do very much enjoy hanging out in my kitchen now.
There are more diets and weight loss schemes out there than we have time to consider. Some of them are just plain stupid, and others are harmless fads that are given quite a bit more attention than they deserve. Other than that, there are a lot of healthy lifestyle type suggestions. That is more of what I am interested in. I am not one to just go with what the experts say because the experts tend to disagree with each other on a lot of things which in my mind makes their suggestions no better than my personal experience, atleast when it comes to my own decisions. So I read some stuff, try some stuff, and then decide what I like and what gives me the results I am looking for.
Unfortunately, we don’t really get observable results on a lot of important things. My poor diet today may give me heart problems or cancer when I’m 55. By the time I notice that, it will be too late. So I have to go with expert advice on what is good for that kind of stuff. Currently, I am eating a lot of spinach and fruit. I hear those are good for a lot of things with the vitamins, antioxidants, iron, calcium and other good stuff, but I was amazed to find that eating too much spinach can give you kidney stones. That is something I have no interest in, so I might cut back on the spinich. I wonder how that all played out for Popeye?
I also cut soda out of my diet and any other sugary beverage that isn’t some type of fruit juice. I mean… wine is a kind of fruit juice right? Okay so that is one indulgence I am giving myself, but it has some good stuff in it too. I am also eating a little dark chocolate now and then. I am only doing dark chocolate because it has more antioxidants, less sugar, and it also happens to taste better and I like to have it with red wine. Even if that isn’t the healthiest way to go, I am not trying to be Captain America here. I just want to be in decent shape and healthy enough to live for a while.
I absolutely do not want to make myself miserable for the sake of my beach body. I am not that vain and I really like good tasting food. This is why I am allowing myself to eat whatever I want on the weekends. I try to be disciplined during the week for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and then finish the night with some dark chocolate and a glass of wine. During the weekend, I eat like a champ. From lunch on Friday to Lunch on Sunday anything goes, but Sunday night I get back into the healthy mode. I am not really abusing my freedom on the weekend, I am just eating like I use to. So I get to have a steak or a burger and maybe even some bacon. Still no soda though, I am trying to stay away from that all the time.
The other aspect of my healthy kick is that I have been exercising more. I try to go running 5 days a week, which may end up being 3 or 4 if I get too busy. I also have been doing push-ups, sit-ups, and pull-ups, all things I can do from home so that I am more likely to actually do them. If I try to go to the gym, I will get busy or lazy and end up not going very often. I think that I have only been able to stick with this routine for the past 3 weeks because there is a light at the end of every tunnel (rewards on the weekend) and because I have noticed quick results. When Lexi got home from her trip she said I looked taller, which obviously was not the case. She later realized that it was because I was skinnier. So apparently this routine is working for something. I am going to stick with it for as long as I can. I might ease up on the diet portion of it once I lose all of the weight that I care to get rid of. At that point, I plan to start eating more food, and better tasting food, but I want to try my best to stick with healthier foods.
After a few weeks of this routine I finally bought batteries for our scale, so I didn’t actually weigh myself until a few days ago. Over the weekend I fluctuated from 197 -202. Dropping below 200 has been a goal of mine since the last time I was actually following an exercise routine. So I finally made it. My goal now is the get back to my weight from the summer after high school. I weighed 186 lbs. at my weigh-in for the Brownfield Power Eastern Oklahoma Benchpress Competition. I came in first in my weight division with 315 lbs. I would like to be able to bench that much again, but for now I’ll focus on dropping the 15 pounds. I’ll let you know when I get there, I’m sure I’ll be very proud of myself… sorry.
This is the point where I ask you your opinion. So what are your experiences with diets or exercises and do you think my plan is destined for failure? I also wanted to give props to my friend Will Phillips whose success has been a motivating factor for me with my efforts. He has come a long way on his weight loss battle. From 440 to just above 300! He’s a champ.
Vino
To those who know me, It may be a bit suprising to find out that I have developed a taste for wine. I have never been one to drink alcohol of any kind and in my more fundamentalist days, I would have thought it was wrong to drink alcohol at all. I am long past that type of thinking but I have never liked beer so I assumed I wouldn’t be interested in wine either. I am the type to try almost anything twice, and I have been to a couple partys and wedding receptions where wine was served. Not being the kind of person to pass up free anything, I had a glass at each of these occasions and liked it more each time. I read up on the health effects of drinking wine in moderation and it won me over.
I thought I would throw this out there because alcohol consumption is something of an issue here in the Bible Belt. I want to know what you think about the issue. So I’ll throw out some of my thoughts on the matter and I hope to hear several other perspectives.
I think that alcohol is something that is abused too often. It has the capability of doing great damage, not only physically, but to friends and family as well. This was my excuse for looking at it as a bad thing. In every decision that we make, we need to measure the probable cost and benefit to decide if it is worth it. I saw a high possible cost associated with each of these activities, so I thought it best not to participate.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with making that exact decision. I can certainly live a happy life without drinking. However, I am 24 years old now. I believe that I am mature and wise enough to know when I have a problem (not that everyone who is 24 can say that). I also believe that I have a great wife who would never let me screw up my life or our marriage(that’s a big one). So that high possible cost is no longer possible in my opinion. Not for me. I trust myself not to abuse alcohol.
That being said I still don’t think it is a good idea to get drunk. Personally, I do not like the idea that I might not have control of myself, have impaired judgement, or would forget part of my life, even if it is only a few hours of it. I don’t think I will ever be able to use the phrase “I was drunk” as an excuse for something I did. I am responsible for myself and my actions. All the time. If I am drunk it’s because I got myself drunk and it is no excuse. (I hear that people typically have control but drink so that they can act stupid and blame it on something else, never tried it, just what I hear) Okay, enough ranting.
Now to slightly stray away from the serious issue. Are there any wine drinkers out there? I am looking for some recommendations or you could just let me know what your favorite kind of wine is. I have discovered that I like a good strong red wine. Odd for a beginner, but I like intense tastes. Probably related to my love for espresso and really spicy food. I seem to like Cabernet Sauvignon, Shiraz, and Petite Sirah. I haven’t tried too many types of wine so there may be other out there that I will like more.
Alright, I’m done for now, so please give me your perspectives. I would normally ask you to be respectful with your answers, but in this case you probably won’t hurt my feelings too much, so lets hear it. If you offend someone else, then you’re going to have to deal with that. I absolutely do not have your back this time. I don’t care how drunk you were when you said it.
Dancin’
Posted by Dylan in Uncategorized on March 9, 2009
On the weekend of Feb 28th I went to a wedding in Jackson, MS. Jordan Katool went to college with my wife and I and she got married to Jodain Massad. We have known both of them for a while and Jordan was actually one of Lexi’s bridesmaids. She was an incredible help with all of the wedding preparations and otherwise just a great person to have around. We knew it would cost us a few dollars to make the trip, and it would mean we wouldn’t be able to take care of all of our normal weekend obligations (flamenco classes, 2 Agora meetings, and preparations for the coming work week), but we wanted to be a part of their wedding day because we know how much it meant to us to have them as a part of ours. We also needed a break from all of the aforementioned responsibilities.
This trip was quite an experience. To start off there was more turbulence on the flights to Jackson than I have ever experienced. It made me quite queasy, but I survived. Then the airline lost our luggage. So we showed up with nothing but the clothes we were wearing. This meant we had to go and buy clothes for the whole weekend, including a suit, tie, dress shoes, undershirt, dress, high heels, jewelry, socks, and underwear. We made it to the hotel at 10:30 and had until 2:00 the next day to get all of these things.
We saw Marshal’s on our way to the mall so we decided to try that first. They had exactly one suit… and it was exactly my size. It was a $500 suit, but at Marshal’s, only $130. Bonus. Of course the pants needed to be tailored, so I called mom, had dad look up tailors in Jackson, MS near our hotel and then had mom call to see if they were open and could hem some pants in less than half an hour. Success, and Lexi found a beautiful dress, shoes, and jewelry while I was getting the pants taken care of. We made it to the wedding with more than enough time, and looked even better than we would if we had our luggage… atleast I did, Lexi would have looked beautiful either way. The wedding was nice, and the reception was amazing. I could go on about how elaborate and classy the whole event was, but what really made an impact on me was what happened on the dance floor.
I must preface this part of the story with some more background. Both Jordan and Jodain are Lebanese and they have large tight knit families, and everyone was there. I was one of few white folks. Later on during the reception, the big band went off the stage, and a trio of Lebanese men took the stage. They played for hours and everyone on both sides of the family was on the dance floor. From what I have seen, if you are Lebanese, you can do Lebanese dance. All of them did it, and you couldn’t sense the slightest bit of inhibition or self-consciousness. They were all comfortable and you could tell that they weren’t just dancing to look good and have fun, they were celebrating.
Dancing is a means of expression. Each of Lexi’s Flamenco dances has a meaning behind it. Dance always expresses something. What amazed me was that this means of expression was wrapped up in their history and identity as a people and as a family. The fact that both of them are Lebanese provided the opportunity for both sides of the family to celebrate together in this beautiful form of dance.
At my wedding, Lexi and I danced a short flamenco dance, and her bridesmaids joined in as well. I am glad we were able to incorporate that into our wedding day because it is something important to both of us. However, to all of my family (and even most of Lexi’s) this means of expression is foreign and uncomfortable. We don’t have anything similar to what I saw at Jordan and Jodain’s wedding in either of our families. We don’t hold onto a family tradition that goes back numerous generations, or have any cultural substance that we can’t pin to our immediate family members, friends, or pop American Culture.
I am not saying that that is a bad thing. I love my family and friends and how we spend our time tigether during holidays and what not. I just recognize that there is something that certain cultures share that is different from my experiences. (and I am slightly envious if you haven’t noticed) The question that this experience has brought to my mind is this: How do I bring this idea into my culture(family, friendships, life, etc.), and if I can, should I? I am not saying we should all dance more (even though we should). I am saying that this dance brings the Lebanese family and people together; is there anything that can do the same in my culture?
This was a long rambling post, it may not make much sense because I am still not sure how to make sense out of what I have been thinking about all of this. So if you can help me out, please do.
For The Lovers Out There
Posted by Dylan in Uncategorized on February 14, 2009
Happy Valentines Day everyone. I thought I would blog along the holiday theme. So I am going to talk about relationships. Actually, lets stick to romantic type relationships. Dating, marriage and all that wonderfully dangerous mess. I am married to the best wife possible. Of that I am certain, but let me lay a foundation of how I think this whole marriage thing works. Here we go.
I don’t believe that there is that special someone for everyone. Even though she doesn’t like to hear me say it, I don’t think we were made for each other and only each other. Perhaps we are the most ideal match which was designed by God before our lives began, but it is also possible that it doesn’t work like that. What if I had chosen a different path? I believe in free will, and I therefore could have ended up a terrible person or just someone very different, had I made different decisions in my life. Lexi had a pretty specific criteria for the kind of person she would want to be married to, and I happened to fit that, but if I didn’t, I don’t think we would have ended up together.
Dating is the interview phase where you see if things might work out. No secret to anyone, that is pretty much how it works. Unless you aren’t interested in commitment, which is a whole other story. Dating gets a lot of the big questions resolved, but of course, it is just a get to know you phase. Marriage is something different entirely.
You can’t be fully prepared for marriage. There is a huge shift in the relationship that takes place after marriage. This is a good thing, it is taking the relationship to another level. You are making yourself more vulnerable to your spouse which can take you to a greater level of intimacy and respect for one another, or it can leave you wide open to be hurt in ways that you previously could not have been. It is a risk, and when you say “i do” you are saying I am going to let you into my life because you are worth the risk, and I trust you. When that kind of trust is broken or misplaced, terrible damage can be done.
I hope I don’t sound too down on the marriage idea. I actually highly recommend it, I just think it is too important to be taken lightly, or to be neglected. My marriage is wonderful. I can’t say it is because I am a great husband or because Lexi is a great wife, or even that it is because we were made for each other. We have both changed too much to say that we were made to fit perfectly without effort. We have grown together over the past 5 years that I have known her. We take our relationship seriously and put some effort into making the most out of it. It requires self sacrifice on a daily basis, but the benefit of that sacrifice is more than worth it. However, even all this can’t be enough to account for the beauty of our relationship.
My belief is that when you are married, God does something to you. It is a connection that runs deep. One flesh. I don’t really know what that means, but I know that I can feel it. I think there is a force that holds us together that is stronger and greater than we are. I don’t have any better explanation of that. Our relationship resonates with something I read long before I was married. Don Miller quoted a friend of his who said that he experiences God loving him through his wife. It is hard to explain that, but I think I know what he was talking about now.
Divorce is an ugly painful ordeal to more than just the two who are being divorced. I think that is because something is being separated that wasn’t meant to be separated. I am not saying that no one should ever get a divorce, some situations warrant that in my opinion, I am just saying it is a bad situation when it does. Enough on the sad stuff.
So let me know what you think. I have to be wrong about something, so drop some knowledge on me here, or just give me your perspective or experience. I am only 1.5 years into the being married thing. So I am sure there are plenty more discoveries to come.
All About the Benjamins
2008 is over. It is time to reflect on the past year and plan for the coming year. The Christmas spending spree is over and now I have time to survey the destruction. We didn’t do too bad, but we didn’t do as well as I had hoped. Now I am trying to decide what kind of financial decisions to make this coming year. I would love to save more money build up a good cushion. With the economy moving in bad directions, who knows what things will be like this time next year. Maybe I’ll get promoted, or maybe I’ll get laid off. You never know. So what do I do now?
I read in Alan Greenspan’s “An Age of Turbulence” that the proportion of our income that we spend or save, is determined by the median spending level in our society. If that lost you, then I’ll put it this way, according to the numbers, we all just try to keep up with the Joneses. Vanity and social norms dictate our spending habits. That makes me feel like such a tool, but I am sure it is true. We all want to have things that are as nice as everyone else’s. How much money we have (or don’t have) effects how much of the conveniences we are willing to give up. Who needs an iPhone? Are you able to survive without one? Yet so many people are willing to give up a significant measure of financial security to have one. I am talking about people I know who don’t have cars or savings accounts but they thought it necessary to spend several hundred dollars on a fancy toy phone and pay the monthly rate on it.
All that is to illustrate the point that I could save so much more money if I was willing to sacrifice my conveniences. I bought an Xbox for Christmas, who needs that? So as a new year’s resolution, I am going to try to wean myself off of some luxury items and conveniences so that I will last a little longer if I am struck with a financial Armageddon. My aspirations of owning an iPhone are hereby banished… i’m keeping the Xbox though.
Hopefully this makes sense to you and might be a little encouraging or enlightening, but a lot of people derive their self-worth from the number of cars and toys they own. It is a conspicuous consumption of income as proof of their success. The classic scenario as is best described by Thorstein Veblen is one of a man who works and makes money, and a wife who wears fur coats and jewelry so that others will know that her husband is successful. By the forces of specialization and division of labor, the wife has become the specialized conspicuous consumer for the family so that she may display their status on her wrists, neck, and fingers. It is a terrible picture, but I think it is often the truth.
Now that I’m done with my confession, I would like to hear some examples of luxuries we can give up that won’t significantly reduce our quality of life. By this I mean that we shouldn’t starve ourselves to save money, or stop brushing our teeth to save money on water and toothpaste. I am talking about the compulsive spending that I too often fall into, toys and entertainment that can easily be replaced with inexpensive alternatives. I have about 25 espresso mugs. It is rare that I have one guest that drinks espresso, so why didn’t I stop at 2 or 3? You get the idea, so share any ideas you can come up with on how to save money for more meaningful expenditures… like guitars.